No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
