it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
