we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
