I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
