she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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