new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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