I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
