he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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