Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
