i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
