I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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