I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
