So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
