he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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