ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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