his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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