Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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