My sheets look like a crime scene.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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