I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
