I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
