somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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