I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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