Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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