There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
