I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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