I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
