Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
