69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
