Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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