I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
