And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
