This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
