I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
