We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
