Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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