so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
