Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
