You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
