Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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