I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
