But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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