And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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