did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found puke in my bra..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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