I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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