lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
