I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
