shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
do nipples grow back?
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