Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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