U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
