It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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