Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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