He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
