Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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